11.08.2010

Baby Girl's Quilt

Well, I finished my first quilt! I am so proud of it. It does have mistakes which bother me, but... at the same time, I learned a lot from all of those mistakes! I just LOVE the colors that I picked out and the fabrics are way cute:) I was thinking of doing a crib bumper too. With all of my sewing projects in my qeue, we will see if it happens.






10.26.2010

Faith, Hope, Trust and the sorts

Wow! I am actually blogging. I felt the need to journal tonight, and didn't really want to just make a quick remark on facebook. So... this is where I found myself. I haven't blogged in a long time (I know, typical me).

I guess I'll start with last night. After the boys were in bed, I just enjoyed some quiet time waiting for Ryan to finish his ten page psychology paper. The past week and a half  had been one of a lot of work. Ryan worked so diligently reading, studying, and writing. I worked hard taking care of the boys, cleaning house, and trying to take care of myself and this precious baby girl in my belly.

I eventually came and laid in bed around 9:30 and Ryan soon joined me. I didn't feel defensive, or angry, or stressed at the moment. That would soon all change. Ryan brought up to me some possibilities of what might happen if the Lord didn't allow us to be accepted into a pharmacy program. This is our last year to be accepted and one that seems to be of most imprtance. His first thought was to change his direction with his education and somehow finish his bachelor's degree. Also, we would have to earn more money somehow so he thought of taking on a part-time worship position. (He definitely misses being able to lead people in worship.) These commitments along side working his full-time job at the VA and introducing our new baby girl to our family.

My first thought was... PANIC. I don't know why. Blame it on the hormones. Blame it on being a woman. Blame it on whatever, but I definitely wasn't able to keep my calm. To give a bit of background without a long story I will share some of why I felt panicked. Ryan led worship for years before and during the first few years of our marriage. There are memories of those time that I hold very dear to me. Others that make me cringe. The title of a part-time worship pastor does not hold the involvement of part-time. It is a full-time job! While leading worship, he also attended school either at campus or online. At the time we didn't have any children (I was pregnant with Andrew during the end of our ministry calling), so it was just us. I loved to lead music with my husband and felt close to him when we practiced, played, and sang together. I won't lie. This time was also very difficult for me. I tried very hard to please other people and wanted to live up to the expectations of what a pastor's wife should look like (or at least what I thought she might look like). I grew weary of every thing that comes a long with being the wife of a pastor, student, and full-time employee. One of my needs in my marriage is quality time. I hold this very dear to me. Probably more than anything else.

Eventually, we found ourselves realizing God had brought us to our end of leading people in worship. At least for the time being. There were many things that factored into this. We felt a strong calling to follow after finishing Ryan's pharmacy degree as well as some other things that I may be led to share in the future. Honestly, I was excited to be done with ministry. I knew that this road would be a truly hard one, but I for some reason saw and still see some hope of a life filled with time spent with my husband.

 I have a strong desire to spend a lot of time with my family. That includes Ryan. I see that a life in pharmacy could potentially give us that. It would fulfill a strong desire of Ryan's to finish his degree and the desire to help people with their health. For me, my husband would be happy and I would be happy. I see the life of a pastor and his family one of time spent with others mainly. This is where I feel torn.

God has in every way called us to serve and love one another. This means spending time with people. He has not called us to a life of mediocrity. He does not desire for us to work our 9-5 jobs and then come home, spending our other hours solely with our families. Whether you are a family being paid to minister to others or not, God still calls us to a life of ministry.

When Ryan brought up the thought of leaving a church that I love, possibly lead worship for another church, I put up my brick wall. I in no way shape or form want to go back to that life. The life of working a job, doing school, and having all of the commitments that come along side of leading worship, now with children. I don't know how in the world I could handle that.

So tonight, while waiting for Ryan to come home from school, I read. I flipped open my Bible and found a passage in Habakkuk. Chapter 3, verses 17-19. "Though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, and the fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls- Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation. The Lord God is my strength...".

I find myself scared and wanting to feel hopeless. The right thing to say is that no matter what happens with pharmacy school, I will still rejoice in the Lord. Of course I will always love God. I have a permanent relationship with Him. BUT... does the thought of the last 4 years of countless nights of studying, tests, managing a new family at times by myself, stress, anxiety, etc., etc., etc. not ending in an acceptance letter to a pharamcy school make me angry? YES! We both truly feel like the Lord has provided over the last few years in ways we can not explain. Times where we said we would quit if the door didn't open. Times when we just wanted to quit because we were just plain done. I find myself wanting to get angry at God for something that hasn't even happened yet.

So what if we don't get accepted? What if the "labor of the olive fails"? Will I still rejoice in the LORD? My desire is that I want to say yes. Right now, I can truly say that I am not there. I can tell you that I would be extremely frustrated. I can say that I would have no idea why God brought us through this path. I can say that the thought of going back to the life of ministry scares me. I don't know that is what God has for us, but why am I so afraid? Why do I feel like all of a sudden I have lost my faith, hope, and trust that God will finish what He has started? What if it doesn't turn out the way that we believed it would?

5.07.2010

Fire Burns

To one of my readers:


"How is someone to learn to deal with them if it feels like they never stop And to me for someone who is trying to lead a good life and walk down the right roads comes to a place where they have no idea what direction they think should take. And when they do decide to make a choice will it be good or bad and while most people are hoping for the best are thinking they are going to get the worst." We can NEVER expect to get through this life and all of it's trials on our own. Sometimes it does feel as if the trials never end. Sometimes even when we do good or do the right thing, it seems as if the situation still turns around on us and bites us in the butt. BUT... there is HOPE. We are not expected to walk through this life on our own. First we must see that as truth. We must see that we NEED something more than ourselves and that we are NOT sufficient. So what is this thing that we need? We need Jesus Christ. That is the relationship I had talked to you about in the past. Being a good person, choosing the right path is important, but in the end... iIT'S NOT ENOUGH. We have to realize that we need Christ and we can lean on Him when we face those many trials. He wants us to depend on Him for help. I pray that God will start to reveal more of Him to you. He is REAL, He offers forgiveness for everything we could ever do... this includes everything. Believe me, He has seen it all. The point is... we can not go through it alone, God will provide, and trials are meant to make us more perfect. They are not fun. Trials are like fire. They burn, they are very painful sometimes. but in the end they are burning off all of the junk that make us dirty. Here is what I mean- out of the mouth of another: The Refiner's Fire Zechariah 13-14, Revelation 21 Key Verse: Zechariah 13:9 The process of refining metals is used in the Bible as a metaphor of spiritual purification. In a sense, if you have something made of pure gold or pure silver, it is made of the leftovers. Refining is a process by which everything else is removed and only the pure metal remains. It is accomplished through firing, putting the metal over the fire until it is a liquid from which can be drawn all the dross. Our lives are not pure gold by any means. God's desire is that we be holy as He is holy. That means there are things that need to be removed from our lives. It also means that He will assist in that process! God's intent is not to destroy us but to purify us. Sometimes His method is akin to the intense heat of the refiner's fire. Our response to the process is crucial. We can either allow Him to work in our lives, cooperating in removing that which is impure, or we can resist or rebel. To His people, God sent the message through the prophet Zechariah that He would "refine them like silver and test them like gold" (13:9). That is painful, but look at the promise: "They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'The LORD is our God.'" The blessing will be ours. Don't resist or rebel against God's refining fire. Learn from the tough times. Look for the ways in which God is using your difficulties to refine you.

5.03.2010

James 1:1-8

James, a bondservant (one who is bound to service without wage) of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes which are scattered abroad:  Greetings.


vs 2-8 My brothers, count is all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally without disapproval, and it WILL be given to him. But let him ask in FAITH, WITHOUT DOUBTING, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let that man not expect to receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man (divided in his interests or loyalties, wavering, uncertain, two-faced, half-hearted), unstable in All his ways.

Wow, so much to get out of this passage. James is one of my favorite books of the Bible. We ALL face trials. Trials of many kinds. Your trial may be just your day in general. Your trial may be one of your health. Your trial may be fighting the emotions inside you. Your trial may be your marriage. Whatever your trial, we all have them. A lot of times, we have many more than just one.

James tells us to "consider" it or "count" it joy when we are dealing with our trials. Who thinks that it is a joy to be in a trial? Certainly not me! He tells us this because our trials will ALWAYS produce patience. The purpose of patience is to make us perfect and complete, not lacking in anything.

James goes on to tell us to ask God for wisdom in our trials without doubting Him. How hard is it for me (and you) to not doubt our God when we are being tested by trials?

Faith- being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

How do we know what we are to put our hope in? Of course we do not want to put our faith in something that does not exist or something that is going to fail us in the end. So the only things that I know as truth and things that are promised are things that God has given me from His word. These are the things I MUST put my Hope in. These are the things I must set my mind on. Especially in the midst of a trial.  I must ask with confidence. God will give me these things FREELY. He actually wants to give them to me!

Well these are my thoughts for the day:) Feel free to post your thoughts on this or even how this passage has spoken to you. I love to see how God is working in others' lives.

4.26.2010

Finished!



I walk by my sewing desk everyday. Lots of times a day. I see project that I have started. I wonder why I have never finished them. I pick up my applique piece that I had started what seemed like forever ago. I set it down. I do this quite a few times a week, always thinking... "I am going to finish that someday". Well I finally finished one of my projects! And here it is! I must say that is looks way cooler in person, but you get the idea:) 








4.23.2010

My baby boy turns 2!


This year we decided to do a very small family birthday party for Ethan. Since his birthday was on a Sunday, he got to move up to the 2-year-old class at church which he ran right in! After church we went to my parents house where my dad bbq'd some burgers and dogs:) My mom made a yummy cake which of course the boys just loved as you can see! We really enjoyed the day, and I can't believe that my little one is now not so little.


This is my "say cheese" face!


4.09.2010

Alternatives Pregnancy Center Walk

So I decided to actually get off my butt and help do something. God has been laying specific events and people that He wants me to participate in and serve. So what better way to start then to start some fundraising for a wonderful ministry. The walk is going to be held Saturday, June 5th. I have already started a team that I call Team Hope. I decided on this name because I feel like there is so much hope and encouragement to give girls and women struggling with some tough decisions. Jesus gave us amazing HOPE and if we can show a little hope to someone, they may just get a glimpse of the great HOPE that Jesus wants to give to them. So I start by raising money to help provide things like diapers, clothing, etc. for new mommies, as well as other services that the center provides such as counseling services and so on.

I pray that God would lay on your heart to help out in some way... whether that be sponsoring me or a team member, walking with us and raising support on your own, praying or even volunteering in the center (as I plan on doing this summer). I just pray that through this you may be changed and given a heart of compassion to pour out love on girls and women who are at a point in there lives when they need it most.

All that being said, if you would like to support me or my team- you may click on the link below and donate securely online. I have a very small goal of $250 and would absolutely LOVE to see that goal exceeded by more than I could imagine!   

May God get all the GLORY and may many lives be changed through your servant's heart.

4.04.2010

He is Risen!



Easter... One of my favorite times of year. I absolutely love that spring is in the air and that there is a sense of refreshment. So appropriate for the resurrection of our Savior! He gave us hope and a newness of life. This year we enjoyed some amazing worship. There was a young choir director leading a small choir of 15 people or so added to the praise band this morning at church. I must say... they were AMAZING! There voices were beautiful and the music arrangement was fantastic. When you add that to singing to our King, you are bound to have a great time with the Lord.

After service we went to my parents' house for a turkey and some Easter egg hunting. We had a wonderful time. Here's to new life! Enjoying spring of 2010:)












4.01.2010

Catchin' up

So I haven't blogged yet this week, and of course I have a lot to blog about... so here goes:)



My boys sure do love to wrestle:) Ethan even gets pretty rough sometimes. I love all the laughter and jumping on each other! 



Then there was the snow day... Ethan was having a blast just smearing snowballs onto the sliding glass doors... they played on our patio for a good hour! 



Then would you expect anything else in Colorado? Within a couple of days it was warm and sunny. I got the boys new sunglasses which they love. Aren't they stylish??? :)



Here is a picture of a hat I made for a friend... I think that this one might just be my favorite! It didn't take much time at all and I love the colors!



My first applique! I am making a pillow for our bed. I think I am going to start a crocheted blanket as well that is green and brown. I made some pillow shams that I showed you in an earlier post, but decided that well... I hated them:) so no biggy... I am just taking it slowly and making different ones that I love. 



And last but not least... here are the squares that I cut out for a project for a friend... I will post the final project as soon as my friend gets them:)

As you can see I actually did a lot this week! Wow, I didn't realize how much I did until I got to showing it all to you:) Hope you enjoy!

3.24.2010

Crochet Away

Lately I have been crocheting a lot:) I had never gotten how to do it before... things always turned out crooked or I just got bored with what I was doing. I finally got on the internet and just learned some new stitches and got some cool patterns and now I am addicted! I had made some cute little girlie hats a couple of weeks ago but forgot to take pictures. So here is the one I made for me! I think it turned out pretty cool! I  absolutely love the yarn I found on clearance at Hobby Lobby. It is so soft!






3.21.2010

Puppets

At a trip to JoAnn's a couple of weeks ago, the boys picked out some of these fun foam animal puppets. We made them when we got home, but of course soon after they destroyed them. Ah well, at least it was fun while it lasted! And we plenty more to make some again:)


3.02.2010

Dinosaurs!

Yesterday we went to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science for their free day. Andrew had been looking forward to seeing the dinosaurs for a while now, so I was excited to take them. They enjoyed it quite a bit. He talked about petting and riding them the whole way home. He obviously didn't get to ride or pet them, but I still think that he thinks they are big pets:)







Dang those teeth are HUGE! wouldn't want to have lived in them days!

2.18.2010

Yum!

Today when I was at the grocery store I picked up some Tazo Green Tea Matcha concentrated mix. So easy to make and very healthy for you. It is said that it helps with relaxation, weight loss, has lots of fiber and antioxidants, plus a lot of other good for you things:) I found it at my local target for $4.00! I use 1/2 cup of the matcha mixed with 1/2 cup milk. I can make 8 drinks for that! Pretty good when it cost about the same for one at Starbucks! This also has way less sugar then Starbucks:). Tonight I made a warm one, which was delicious... tomorrow I think I may try my hand at making some into a frapp:) 



2.17.2010

Luv U Day!

I would have to say that this was my favorite Valentine's Day EVER! I know some people may think it is stupid and hate it, or even think that it has to be bad if you don't have a "special someone" in your life, BUT...  I think that most all of us have lots of "special-someones" in our lives. Most of us have parents, siblings, friends, and children- not to mention those of us who have a spouse or significant other. Every other year I focused on "what am I gonna get this year?". What is someone else gonna do for me??? This year was totally different for me. I really wanted to give others gifts this year. It was so much fun picking out flowers, making strawberries, etc. 

So here is how my great day went- We ate pizza for lunch at the mall, delivered flowers to a couple of people, I met my great friend at JoAnn's, then we had our wonderful babysitter over for the night so my hubby and me could go out for a delicious dinner at P.F. Chang's and then on to the Hyatt. Can you see why my day was so wonderful???


This was my favorite bouquet:)



I realized later that I didn't eat any! I will have to make some more.


These were by far my favorite crab-cheese wontons! 



Happy Valentine's Day Sweetie!

2.13.2010

Marijuana



So today I decided to write about something that is effecting our culture and families. The illegal and medical uses of marijuana. 9News recently aired a story on a man that was growing marijuana in his basement at a home in Highlands Ranch. This man thought he was invisible. My first question is how are you invisible if you give your address and show all of your basement drugs to a news station? I believe that the legalization of any drug allows an excuse for people that just want to use or sell it. They can now blame why they do it on the law, when in truth they are probably lying,  using the law as they wish to do what they want.

I think medical marijuana may benefit a very limited amount of people. Notice I say "limited". Should we change our laws, allowing for more crime, accidents, deaths, etc, etc, etc. just to benefit a small amount of people? I also believe that this small number of people dealing with real pain may be able to find other ways to deal with their hurting. I think that a lot of their pain may be physical, but could it be that some their pain may be brought on by a mental discouragement, depression, or general way of life? I do not want to discount anyone dealing with real problems and living a life in real pain. I just question if a lot of people use others' pain as an excuse for themselves.

Our communities, lives, and all around world has become so focused on what we want and what we think is best for us, that we don't think or even care about what is best for all of us and what is right for all of us. Just because something makes you "feel" better in a moment doesn't mean it is the thing you should do. Our mentality as a whole has become such that we allow ourselves to be self-indulgent, arrogant, and all around selfish. We constantly think about what we can do to make ourselves be entertained, rich, and comfortable.

I believe people would truly see Christ and desire to stop living a self-indulgent life, the problem of legalized and illegal drug use would not be a problem. Our family and yours is spending our hard earned, God-provided money on problems that should not be problems. We have such an issue with affordable health care, families finding jobs, etc., and we are spending valuable resources on drugs. Some may argue that it is good for our economy to legalize the use of marijuana. Some may argue that the NEED it for medical purposes. Some may argue that they have to grow and dispense it to help others. I know that if these people were to come to the end of themselves, find what truly matters in this short life, start living a life to truly serve others and see that they need something bigger than themselves, they would see that they are just making excuses.

Why don't you find true joy, find Christ, and get a life! Don't be offended, just take it as it is and see truth in it to better your life. This you can be selfish in. Be selfish in making yourself more like Christ. You can put all others aside, think of only you and see that you not only want to but need to.

Might I just add that the man previously mentioned that was growing marijuana in his basement was investigated and arrested. Of course he claims that he is doing everything by the law. What will happen to him? Will he be allowed to continue living for self and excuses, or will our government see that this is a real problem and that it is causing more problems to allow our culture to make excuses?

Ok, enough of my rambling.... Those are my thoughts on current issues. I think I need a brownie:)

2.09.2010

I don't know what to call this post

Friday night I scrap booked with a friend and came up with two more pages. One I love the other not so much, but I guess I am not going to like everything I make:) Also, I finished my picture and framing! I am so super excited about the frame I found for it last night at Michael's. It was on clearance for $34 and I had a coupon so I ended up paying $22 for a 24" x 36" frame that I LOVE! I think the photo turned out pretty excellent too:) 








2.04.2010

Hangin' out at home


Well it definitely is the start of a new school semester! Ryan of course had lots of homework and studying tonight, so I made some pizza for us. One of our favorite things to make. Tonight was canadian bacon, pineapple, and mushrooms. Pretty tasty if I do say so myself:)







After dinner, I got right to work on this cute bag that I just kind of made the pattern up as I went. After last night's post I just had to run out today and get some fabric to make a bag for their train pieces. I think it turned out super cute for a night's worth of sewing, especially when I was more focused on getting it done and not so much on how the stitching turned out:) Since I didn't have a pattern, I just sort of put it together piece by piece. I hope they like it... they had to get to bed before I could finish.

2.02.2010

Train Tracks

The boys were so excited today when we went to get their new wooden train set. I love this set because it reminds me of a vintage set... it isn't motorized, just a push set, but they played with it all night! Now we have to get a nice case or something for them to keep it in... Maybe I will make them a cool bag... Hmmm... that's got me thinkin!




2.01.2010

Back for more:)


These are the current books I have checked out from the library that you could say I am "reading". None of them are necessarily novels or books that you just sit down and read, but I am really enjoying them none the less:) The top book "Photographing Children" is a great book, which is helping me learn a lot about my camera! I always just set my camera to the automatic setting, but I would actually like to use the rest of the functions too. The others are crafting books which are helping me get ideas for projects.



This is a photograph that I took outside our apartment on the walking trail off of the golf course. I had seen a picture in Target that I loved of a tree, but thought to myself that it would be really awesome if all of our decor or artwork in our home were things that we did ourselves. So I took a few and this was my favorite! I thought a nice distressed frame would look great and then I am going to hang it in our living room.



1.29.2010

Made it through another week:)


This week was kind of a rough one, with little sleep and sick kiddos, but here we are... Friday! On tonight's menu will be homemade pizza and then plans for a movie after. We try to have pizza and movie night weekly, although it doesn't always happen:)

Even though it was a rough week I did accomplish some things and am kind of proud of my new found inspiration and excitement for crafting! I have to admit that life just seems better when you can create and actually enjoy different things than the typical mundane things. Here's to creativity!




This is the first finished pillow sham... I still will need to
finish the second and then 2 pillowcases. Should look awesome
when I am done:)

 
I would like to find a great distressed frame to
use with this when it is done... I hung it up last night
with some tape to see what it would look like with our
bedding... I think it is going to look just fabulous!


     
And as a side note... here is my new piece of artwork! I just love it:)
For me, tattoos are a piece of permanent jewelry. They are PERMANENT
so you better be sure to love what you are doing and not just do
it on a whim or as a fad. This is one of my favorite flowers and we used
them in our wedding. I also had Ryan's initials added to it. Ryan is my best friend
in the whole world, and we work VERY hard at having a strong marriage. We have
been married SEVEN years now! Just like my tattoo is permanent... so are we:).

1.25.2010

Time for Creating

So I have done this many times... started blogging again and then I quit. Kind of like starting and stopping a diet and exercising. Although I must say I actually do better at that then blogging. Maybe it's because I have been so into Facebook lately that I feel like that is enough about my life. This year I have started many new resolutions... but I would not say that I thought of them before hand. I just would say... we need to read more. That started a month's journey so far of getting a ton of books at the library. I thought..."I need to get in better shape", so I started working out 6 days a week and I feel awesome. I thought (after a good sermon by a good friend) "we need to do even more with being good steward's of our finances", so we got rid of our satellite and I replaced it with something I used to LOVE doing... Sewing.
So new things in my life now include reading, sewing, exercising, and scrap booking as well. I am going to start blogging (again) about my weekly endeavors as well as my cute little boys. This time the hope is that I will be so excited about what I am working on that I just have to show you!
Current projects: Pillow Shams for our bed, 2 new scrapbook pages, and a baby gift for a dear friend.