hard lessons

I am coming to the end of my first semester at Liberty University. Not sure what I was thinking when I started this path other than, I felt a strong urge to get my degree in psychology and I was motivated to get started right away. I knew that there would be many nights of studying and thought I could even get some studying in during nap times. Over the course of this semester I have learned so much.

I was really interested in US History, mainly becase there is so much history that surrounds us here in Virginia. I learned many things about the origin of our country that I never knew. In my communications class, I had to give a couple of speeches. Even though I wasn't as pleased with my grades on them as I would have liked, I was pleased with myself for learning how to freely speak in front of others.

At the end of this semseter, I find myself frustrated that I can not put my full energy into school. There have been times that I have put my children off because of assignments I was working on. I know, many people including my hubby have thought from the beginning that I was taking on too much. I guess I felt that I had something to prove to myself. I wanted to say I knew I could do it.

A couple of weeks ago, I came to the realization that of course I can do it, but at what expense? When it comes down to it, there are only so many hours in a day. School is important to me, but my family is more important.

I don't think this means that I need to give up school. I just think it means that I need to enjoy doing it, instead of going all in. If I am giving my quality and quantity time to my children that they need from me, I am happier. They are happier.

I can not get these years back with my children. Do I want to have great memories of us together or of me in the other room studying while they play? When I came to the realization that there is only so much time, I gave up my study time during the day to give my attention to Andrew, Ethan, and Sawyer. When I gave that up, I also gave up my high grades. In return, I gained a new sense of relationship with them.

We have had a lot of fun lately. We went to a farm to pick apples, flew kites, baked cookies, learned letters, and smiled.

There is a lot I have left to finish out this week and semester, but all in all the lessons I learned this past term have definitely been in history and communication. I have been making history with my children and learning to communicate with them better.